{"title":"Pessimistic T-Shirts","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ethe pessimist you know; or\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ethe pessimist you are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"verified-disappointment-glitched-badge-tee","title":"Verified Disappointment","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efor when your blue checkmark dreams meet reality\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA magnificently deflated speech bubble bears witness to the great social media status anxiety of our time — \"VERIFIED DISAPPOINTMENT\" stamped in the unmistakable orange-tinged typography of platform validation gone wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCut with the forgiving drape of someone who has personally refreshed their follower count too many times, this shirt offers the breathable comfort needed for processing the existential weight of algorithmic indifference. The relaxed fit accommodates both the expansion of crushed dreams and the occasional deep sigh of digital resignation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSplendidly suited for coffee shop working sessions where you pretend not to check if that tweet gained traction, or any gathering where someone might ask about your \"online presence.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRing spun Softstyle. Modern classic fit. Low-impact dyes for low-impact existential crises.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trend Decay","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":63274293002609,"sku":"20590592092287649436","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":63274293035377,"sku":"27592981244567840782","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":63274293068145,"sku":"16891134990307002956","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":63274293100913,"sku":"29296766598595161509","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":63274293133681,"sku":"29458837950913284620","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ S","offer_id":63274293166449,"sku":"45500321602220235994","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ S","offer_id":63274293199217,"sku":"10081105472199220933","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ S","offer_id":63274293231985,"sku":"44596793556081306409","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":63274293264753,"sku":"12999669633000723265","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":63274293297521,"sku":"23386982873016348801","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":63274293330289,"sku":"19095018391811088907","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":63274293363057,"sku":"16878537116879899015","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":63274293395825,"sku":"95481655414107136952","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ M","offer_id":63274293428593,"sku":"14637077294924100836","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ M","offer_id":63274293461361,"sku":"27540047701541172650","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ M","offer_id":63274293494129,"sku":"22541295212367799454","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":63274293526897,"sku":"17072884280314045695","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":63274293559665,"sku":"29150487211362491742","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":63274293592433,"sku":"22058727888704843246","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":63274293625201,"sku":"27953019163369892339","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":63274293657969,"sku":"16975938775785120710","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ L","offer_id":63274293690737,"sku":"19118285051138493598","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ L","offer_id":63274293723505,"sku":"23667457949951973012","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ L","offer_id":63274293756273,"sku":"13538262353808764557","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":63274293789041,"sku":"28537924666023261528","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":63274293821809,"sku":"45911242782254766384","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":63274293854577,"sku":"31267995797314411607","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63274293887345,"sku":"26708161022645776220","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":63274293920113,"sku":"21574266577239433107","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ XL","offer_id":63274293952881,"sku":"27946734280665669483","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":63274293985649,"sku":"31166706091985479140","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ XL","offer_id":63274294018417,"sku":"30923156427181186602","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294051185,"sku":"33537053520725904559","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294083953,"sku":"25398735988395393204","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294116721,"sku":"30927392885215521770","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294149489,"sku":"10306505768308242341","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294182257,"sku":"12867617151785078736","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294215025,"sku":"14387535967181519238","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294247793,"sku":"10353001733038845595","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274294280561,"sku":"47588215399120923499","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/5495\/9729\/files\/cb-31d41a33-c5_lifestyle_dark-arms-crossed.jpg?v=1776290629"},{"product_id":"bait-switch-diner-vintage-humor-tee","title":"Bait \u0026 Switch Diner","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efor when the algorithm serves you exactly what you didn't order\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA cherubic kitten presides over this vintage diner signage with the smug satisfaction of every clickbait thumbnail that ever lured you into watching a 47-minute essay about cereal mascots. The retro typography promises comfort food but delivers whatever keeps you scrolling past bedtime.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCut with the forgiving drape of someone who's learned to expect disappointment, this shirt wears beautifully to coffee dates that turn into MLM pitches and first dates who look nothing like their photos. Splendidly suited for any occasion where you're not quite getting what was advertised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRing spun Softstyle. Modern classic fit. Low-impact dyes for low-impact existential crises.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trend Decay","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":63274294346097,"sku":"14860378479425273874","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":63274294378865,"sku":"14040186942023025239","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":63274294411633,"sku":"18154883709016469527","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":63274294444401,"sku":"19789059720321067847","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":63274294477169,"sku":"23789671012965640971","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ S","offer_id":63274294509937,"sku":"35408898517579331577","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ S","offer_id":63274294542705,"sku":"24751739121500993624","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ S","offer_id":63274294575473,"sku":"14071024424909834235","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":63274294608241,"sku":"14195606140350594282","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":63274294641009,"sku":"10355818290567085207","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":63274294673777,"sku":"82311547747598491556","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":63274294706545,"sku":"16522760840063895005","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":63274294739313,"sku":"31134513695850960071","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ M","offer_id":63274294772081,"sku":"22848919788749286902","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ M","offer_id":63274294804849,"sku":"21133565054674032795","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ M","offer_id":63274294837617,"sku":"12728821038018810185","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":63274294870385,"sku":"17860222432649244570","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":63274294903153,"sku":"22445092455174798569","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":63274294935921,"sku":"25996247151578532164","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":63274294968689,"sku":"25960588736728516703","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":63274295001457,"sku":"30791473253337681039","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ L","offer_id":63274295034225,"sku":"21394930184422458885","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ L","offer_id":63274295066993,"sku":"30441181474201802535","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ L","offer_id":63274295099761,"sku":"31609357357881446134","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":63274295132529,"sku":"15033635898487684325","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":63274295165297,"sku":"25173493643816432870","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":63274295198065,"sku":"18559296824949306293","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63274295230833,"sku":"35604626457017241093","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":63274295263601,"sku":"15505086568761337863","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ XL","offer_id":63274295296369,"sku":"48184128908322518817","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":63274295329137,"sku":"26521402247657923649","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ XL","offer_id":63274295361905,"sku":"69505018653441046396","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295394673,"sku":"15641190750860606062","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295427441,"sku":"14906891934098188707","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295460209,"sku":"29668801456960237624","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295492977,"sku":"17086610689760777001","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295525745,"sku":"25985497577253815422","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295558513,"sku":"32776593526309902082","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295591281,"sku":"19055876475280955202","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274295624049,"sku":"57379914971043386962","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/5495\/9729\/files\/cb-5767af14-c1_lifestyle_full-body_bookshop.png?v=1776290642"},{"product_id":"error-404-greatness-not-found-retro-tech-glitch-tee","title":"Error 404: Greatness Not Found","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efor when the algorithm finally admits defeat\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA vintage terminal erupts in spectacular digital failure, its screen blazing \"ERROR 404: GREATNESS NOT FOUND\" against a backdrop of glorious computational collapse. The machine's existential crisis becomes our collective mirror—every crashed app, every buffering video, every moment the internet shrugs and gives up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTailored in breathable fabric that won't overheat like your laptop during a Zoom call, this shirt fits with the comfortable resignation of someone who's learned to embrace technological disappointment. The relaxed cut accommodates the slumped posture of the perpetually troubleshooting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for IT help desk shifts, explaining why the WiFi is down again, or any occasion requiring the quiet dignity of managed expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRing spun Softstyle. Modern classic fit. Low-impact dyes for low-impact existential crises.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trend Decay","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":63274356081009,"sku":"26420789480258875678","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":63274356113777,"sku":"24960035574669072910","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":63274356146545,"sku":"23183882589938168050","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":63274356179313,"sku":"27675551653878622255","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":63274356212081,"sku":"25298780663305855216","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ S","offer_id":63274356244849,"sku":"24163284888938458272","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ S","offer_id":63274356277617,"sku":"23746260586622148278","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ S","offer_id":63274356310385,"sku":"33495408524984166194","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":63274356343153,"sku":"24719378540349456955","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":63274356375921,"sku":"24651248812153377777","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":63274356408689,"sku":"36827852105411117144","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":63274356441457,"sku":"24819088790712836726","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":63274356474225,"sku":"25675914036163043404","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ M","offer_id":63274356506993,"sku":"11437470622887727546","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ M","offer_id":63274356539761,"sku":"28390419499257003171","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ M","offer_id":63274356572529,"sku":"10587119755762669988","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":63274356605297,"sku":"29150072142221622262","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":63274356638065,"sku":"72927186197477697299","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":63274356670833,"sku":"28112836767407881398","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":63274356703601,"sku":"15717674020407554929","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":63274356736369,"sku":"18330645718289964608","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ L","offer_id":63274356769137,"sku":"17863336555756187481","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ L","offer_id":63274356801905,"sku":"20393962899865942084","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ L","offer_id":63274356834673,"sku":"17528678083187812318","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":63274356867441,"sku":"12690072146405878202","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":63274356900209,"sku":"10092401072413978267","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":63274356932977,"sku":"29392867715465091600","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63274356965745,"sku":"33165283711786890063","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":63274356998513,"sku":"19357508896182261443","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ XL","offer_id":63274357031281,"sku":"46995003205303263274","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":63274357064049,"sku":"14222837965004923826","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ XL","offer_id":63274357096817,"sku":"85546524639109509187","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357129585,"sku":"25063044080539571418","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357162353,"sku":"85834710142285475798","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357195121,"sku":"17106515662178444175","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357227889,"sku":"75852249057553930084","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357260657,"sku":"15225776721251298235","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357293425,"sku":"76267617715611028972","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357326193,"sku":"22277525484249610680","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":63274357358961,"sku":"16425660618223224767","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/5495\/9729\/files\/error-404-greatness-not-found-20260308-0326_lifestyle_street-crosswalk.png?v=1776290757"},{"product_id":"the-last-bandwagon","title":"The Last Bandwagon","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efor the chronically late adopter in all of us\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat remains after the discourse has moved on is not nothing. It's this: a weathered wagon creaking toward the horizon, its cargo spilling digital artifacts into the dust — cassette tapes, floppy disks, the detritus of formats we once thought permanent. The figure at the reins wears the expression of someone who has finally, mercifully, arrived at their destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design captures that peculiar relief of the perpetual straggler, the soul who discovers NFTs just as the market crashes, who joins Twitter precisely when everyone else is logging off. Here is vindication in woodcut form: a banner proclaiming allegiance to the last wagon in the train, where the seats are empty but the view is unobstructed. Sometimes the best position in any cultural moment is ten paces behind it, watching the pixels fall like leaves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRing spun Softstyle. Modern classic fit. Low-impact dyes for low-impact existential crises.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trend Decay","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":63436201656689,"sku":"23627892760768855367","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":63436201689457,"sku":"25963466399401975771","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":63436201722225,"sku":"20609613884552229203","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ S","offer_id":63436201754993,"sku":"30523156050350435482","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":63436201787761,"sku":"24360405825467958087","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ S","offer_id":63436201820529,"sku":"19906482247066247324","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ S","offer_id":63436201853297,"sku":"25764714783562444636","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ S","offer_id":63436201886065,"sku":"13253477697987545052","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":63436201918833,"sku":"81537632767848706782","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":63436201951601,"sku":"22667928841113403256","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":63436201984369,"sku":"28670318080061149420","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ M","offer_id":63436202017137,"sku":"15137801340033468263","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":63436202049905,"sku":"28232378654832329845","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ M","offer_id":63436202082673,"sku":"13971640621949904119","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ M","offer_id":63436202115441,"sku":"50737669844195944069","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ M","offer_id":63436202148209,"sku":"26663691869134101446","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":63436202180977,"sku":"16855573131965925657","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":63436202213745,"sku":"85616505345329574733","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":63436202246513,"sku":"28317049396230666674","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ L","offer_id":63436202279281,"sku":"33275680787569466059","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":63436202312049,"sku":"33517378596788591467","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ L","offer_id":63436202344817,"sku":"86303007257153054903","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ L","offer_id":63436202377585,"sku":"33246623320757459254","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ L","offer_id":63436202410353,"sku":"29294884305931270692","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":63436202443121,"sku":"11920984918280333535","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63436202475889,"sku":"29285202920454212355","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":63436202508657,"sku":"18075094084450380134","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63436202541425,"sku":"13798882483187077219","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":63436202574193,"sku":"22192084292121673022","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ XL","offer_id":63436202606961,"sku":"29041019275903362297","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ XL","offer_id":63436202639729,"sku":"18457305983978901673","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ XL","offer_id":63436202672497,"sku":"18546380899288737130","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202705265,"sku":"83558638928255055397","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202738033,"sku":"29954587594991297673","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202770801,"sku":"15999175819848929289","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202803569,"sku":"28103463160245510579","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202836337,"sku":"30904285944831483557","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202869105,"sku":"10140683316901231170","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202901873,"sku":"13638804217185146333","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ 2XL","offer_id":63436202934641,"sku":"55148894704608268099","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/5495\/9729\/files\/the-last-bandwagon-20260409-1434_lifestyle_coffeehouse.jpg?v=1776125529"},{"product_id":"rock-bottom","title":"Rock Bottom","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efor when you've explored every corner of the internet and found only teeth\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen we discovered crates of these in a decommissioned media archive, the archivist explained they were mockups for a National Geographic special that never aired. Something about deep-sea psychological expeditions, she said, though the paperwork was water-damaged and largely illegible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe specimen presents as a vintage magazine cover, complete with the familiar yellow border and that unmistakable typography promising adventure. But this particular odyssey ventures not into uncharted territories of the natural world, but into the charted territories of the unnatural self—that moment when scrolling becomes spelunking, when the algorithm's abyss gazes back. The diver, armed with what appears to be a harpoon gun, faces a creature that seems less Mariana Trench and more group chat after 3 AM, all bioluminescent eyes and inexplicable hostility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA cultural artifact from the expedition that maps not ocean floors, but the geography of giving up entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRing spun Softstyle. Modern classic fit. Low-impact dyes for low-impact existential crises.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trend Decay","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":63535639069041,"sku":"28100426332356197645","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":63535639101809,"sku":"43811109145840964286","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":63535639134577,"sku":"28184513741684160072","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ S","offer_id":63535639167345,"sku":"59921971612991330106","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":63535639200113,"sku":"15304414543365608727","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ S","offer_id":63535639232881,"sku":"22320122732855449102","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ S","offer_id":63535639265649,"sku":"14377132860517135910","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ S","offer_id":63535639298417,"sku":"14179277778669932787","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":63535639331185,"sku":"29532053772449013918","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":63535639363953,"sku":"59601351256527852838","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":63535639396721,"sku":"23563753015360834546","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ M","offer_id":63535639429489,"sku":"12948795702055535138","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":63535639462257,"sku":"19010737328696313850","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ M","offer_id":63535639495025,"sku":"29604052019817372993","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ M","offer_id":63535639527793,"sku":"16851884596535697564","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ M","offer_id":63535639560561,"sku":"18139932189061077194","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":63535639593329,"sku":"50530209521821682567","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":63535639626097,"sku":"33564709636709084071","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":63535639658865,"sku":"23987157294057767034","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ L","offer_id":63535639691633,"sku":"22257008933131991104","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":63535639724401,"sku":"12440305030110755071","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ L","offer_id":63535639757169,"sku":"18449908869908231902","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ L","offer_id":63535639789937,"sku":"24787454365556234106","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ L","offer_id":63535639822705,"sku":"55432807239268785680","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":63535639855473,"sku":"19776783170623832586","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63535639888241,"sku":"18170809700535346634","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":63535639921009,"sku":"93479943804089394156","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ XL","offer_id":63535639953777,"sku":"32859072043514063034","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":63535639986545,"sku":"24279239596963303813","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ XL","offer_id":63535640019313,"sku":"33015682765434960608","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ XL","offer_id":63535640052081,"sku":"94307460600343061895","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ XL","offer_id":63535640084849,"sku":"22450912237019106702","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640117617,"sku":"14577080157670694372","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640150385,"sku":"10238656808373023755","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640183153,"sku":"27673204218224569712","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ice Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640215921,"sku":"31246027109261613272","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640248689,"sku":"25064009262370304052","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640281457,"sku":"30109902653023519293","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pistachio \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640314225,"sku":"24303141279408418532","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky \/ 2XL","offer_id":63535640346993,"sku":"24784349681909250182","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/5495\/9729\/files\/national-geographic-rock-bottom-20260427-1259_lifestyle_party-nightlife.jpg?v=1777482219"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.trenddecay.com\/collections\/pessimistic-t-shirts.oembed","provider":"Trend Decay","version":"1.0","type":"link"}